Total (CC#1 CC#2 and JBR) CC Debt left to pay off: $1219.39 …My goal is to get that debt down 20% by September 1^st. That’s a total reduction of CC debt of $244.00. I think I’ll be able to do it. A little at a time. $55 towards my Jewelry bill and $94.50 on each of my credit cards…


Paid $55 towards my Jewlery Bill and $25 towards CC #1 and $25 towards CC #2 out of this week's check....

So far I'm on track.


I have 139.00 Left to reach my goal for the Month of August. That is entirely reasonable! as long as I don't use it before it's paid off....

It seems like it’s been forever since I’ve written in my journal and lord knows I feel it…it’s amazing how much your mind gets cluttered and you feel kind of “out of control” for lack of better saying when you can’t put your thoughts down and organize them.

***

I’ve been working really hard at getting my debt ratio down. So far I’ve managed to get my credit cards down a bit. Not a lot but a bit. Kind of pissed at myself actually last month I lost track of the days and forgot to pay one of them which not only counteracted my last month’s payment but I got slammed with a bunch of fees. Over Limit fee because yes the finance charge was enough to push it over and then a late fee…This month however I’ve already paid it down $50 bucks and it’s not due till August 10^th so I shouldn’t receive a late or over limit fee…only the finance charge. The other card is in good shape. My jewelry card was almost paid off only had $65 left…but then I went and got a pearl necklace I’d had my eye on for over a year…yes I know I shouldn’t have but the thing was I had watched AND waited like they say you should and it was finally on sale 40% off plus I had a preferred customer discount so it was a good deal and even though I’m sure it would be back around I really liked this style and was afraid the reason why it was on sale was because they were no longer going to make this one in particular.

Total (CC#1 CC#2 and JBR) CC Debt left to pay off: $1219.39 …My goal is to get that debt down 20% by September 1^st. That’s a total reduction of CC debt of $244.00. I think I’ll be able to do it. A little at a time. $55 towards my Jewelry bill and $94.50 on each of my credit cards…

My medical bills are slowly coming down too. I haven’t added them up yet but I am one payment away from getting rid of at least two of them. So that excites me A LOT. Of course these are the smaller ones but at least that’s one more piece of mail and I can apply the small payment that I was making on these and add it to the payment I’m making on the bigger bills to make that payment even bigger. My biggest struggle is still maintaining my truck, home and utility bills during all this. It’s a major struggle…Summer is flying by and in a way I really don’t want it to because I won’t be able to afford the oil bill this winter and I don’t have a new house yet…and my parents haven’t moved….

My goal for my Medical bills is to get three bills paid off by September 1^st. I don’t care which ones but I want three less bills to arrive at my house at that point…I’ll have to figure out which ones they will be so I can put a greater emphasis on them now that I’m getting close to the bottom of my dealings with them. It actually feels really good to focus my effort towards something for a change…even though racing does get in the way of that sometimes…but like my parents said I still have to allow myself to have fun … life and adulthood is all about balance. I never was good at balancing LOL

***

My house is slowly getting under control too…I’ve been working a little bit each day at cleaning and decluttering…It’s amazing how one person (well technically two if you include my roommate) can accumulate so much stuff…Plus it’s really big house to keep clean. Especially when most of it is a hardwood floor…never in my life will I have hardwood floors in a house again. Each week I focus on a different part of the house to declutter and then I have an hour routine I do each day for each room to “tidy up” so far it’s been working…I haven’t gone through all the weeks rotations yet so half the house is dirty and cluttered and the other half…not so much ha ha but It feels good to have a house in order too. I really just want to get my front yard done the most. I think I’ll start working on that 15 minutes at a time each day morning and night because I really want to get it done enough to sit outside before it gets cold and defeats the purpose ha ha – so if anyone wants to help with some manual labor you know where to go.

I’m also starting a project to repaint my dresser…I want to get funky with it haha but I am going to reuse some left over paint we have from the kitchen…hopefully it will be enough to cover but just in case I don’t I’m saving the drawers till last so if I have to do them a different color I will…I need to go and get some new pulls too … half of them are missing. Lots of projects going on that will probably still be going on this winter…

***

Love life is going good for a change. We already had ups and downs but it’s okay because I didn’t really hold onto the rose colored glasses for too long. There are things I wished he did more of and less of but I’ve realized that there isn’t that one perfect person out there and I just need to spend time with him with “us” and decide if his imperfections are something I can live with. My grandmother once told me that spending your life with someone and being married to them is to develop the feelings that were there from the day you first met them. You won’t fall in love, you won’t be in love and you sure won’t know what love is till you’re with them morning – noon and night everyday for years, till they leave toothpaste in the sick and underwear on the floor. Marriage is about deciding if you can like them enough to learn to love them. You learn to live with someone, to love them and cherish them…if you do that everything else will fall into place. She also taught me that space is a necessity. Sometimes the need for space doesn’t always come at the same time and that is what makes things difficult. But to always pick your battles and understand that feelings will be hurt and probably a lot but what you do with those hurt feelings is what makes all the difference. Smile everyday, be the best you can be, fight for what you believe and always be honest with yourself.

***

My racing season of 2008 is full of more drama then any years previous…It’s amazing honestly. How so many people can get so caught up in other peoples lives that they clearly forget what their lives stand for. Who they are and what makes them a good person. I think that racing is honestly the only sport you can learn to love someone and hate them all in the same hours span. Some people are so faithful to those they cheer for that they see no wrong. Biased to the point of no return and will argue to their death about something that doesn’t even effect them in any way other then the stance among their friends. I know…I was one of them. Now a day I sit back and do my new favorite hobby. People watching…watching how they react to a situation, what they say and how they say it, and most importantly how they display all of these is the same situation only reversed. It’s amazing really how we are all guilty of this. And it’s not just in racing…it’s in life as well. So many of us mold our lives around things that we have no control over to just be ahead of the people around us, to make us higher in a chain of command that we don’t even understand. Are we truly going up or just sideways in life?

I have a lot of work to do. Money, House, Relationships, Bills, Friendships, and Myself...it's all a bit overwhelming. I wish I was coordinated enough to write while I exercised...I could get so much more done if I did. I do my best thinking while I exercise...WHEN I exercise actually. I really need to figure out what the hell I'm going to do about that...I need to figure out some will power somehow someway...am get some energy and not be so damn bored while I'm there. I could have a book, magazine, i pod, and TV with cable and I'm still not able to stay there very long ... I'd rather be doing something else and it bothers me I'm there when I should be somewhere else...but it's time I start allowing myself to have me time.

How exactly does one do that?

I want to do a marathon in 2009. Just don't know how to do it or which one I want to do...but i'll figure it out.


My weekend was good but long. It was very challenging in a lot of ways. I stand behind decisions I have made I have no choice but to do that. Some days I wonder if I have made the right ones and other days the actions of others (including myself) have reaffirmed that in fact I have. I have so many friends from different "circles" that it's hard to please everyone and be happy myself.

I'm still so very tired from the weekends traveling that I need to sleep ... so many thoughts in my head that I wasn't able to sleep last night much...

Maybe a nap at lunch is in my future...

Three-forths of the year I BEG for summer. I beg for the warm, sunny days that are encompassed with birds singing and flowers blooming when in fact all you see in your mind all those months are things you read about in books or see in movies. This week has been the true summer. When you are so hot and sweaty you live to take a cold shower but dread it at the same time because you'll know it won't be long before you're once again sweaty and probably twice as bad becuase you never truly dry. This week is when the air quality is gross, the blue sky is crowded by the haze, the wind doesn't exist, and the sun is so hot that you can't even go outside. But being trapped inside with the AC drives you crazy because you know that while you're sitting there feeling cool all you see is $$$ ... which is precisly why I don't have it. But it's not bad enough for me to wish for winter just yet...I'd have to be pretty freakin miserable for that!

If the Thunder Showers stay away tonight Jason and I are going on a 3 hour cruise around Portland Harbor with Casco Bay Ferry Lines. It's the sunset cruise and one of my favorites. Hopefully it will be a good night for us as we need a night together not at a race track or involved in some racing activity. I love being on the water ... I'd live in a house boat if I could. Always loved Sleepless in Seattle for that very reason. Add a boat to the next list of things I want to get.

That makes...

• Camper
• Motorcycle
• Snowmobile
• Kayak
  
• Boat

in no particular order....

Man what I wouldn't do for a vacation! I'm trying like hell to get my credit cards paid off before I leave for Florida in September but I'm not sure it's going to happen but hopefully it will so I know that I have a cushion to use down there if I get in trouble...I'm not really saving much before because I'm trying to pay those off ha-ha so that will help since I won't have any extra spending money! I know bad idea but you never know!

I still need to get to the doctors to check that spot out on my back...he wants to cut it open and do tests and stuff on it but I don't have the money for it and while I know they will do it and bill me I still don't want that extra medical bill on top of all the others...

Oh well ... back to work and get shit together ... I have to go home and do laundry and stuff done since I don't know what this weekend is going to bring. Lee on Friday night and Thompson on Saturday just not sure if we are coming back in between or not.

I have to redo my budget again ... this isn't going to be good.

I hope I have the patience I need to do it and this time do it a little bit more manageable. Last time I worked it out on a perfect senario haha and well there wasn't ever a week that was "perfect"...

Oh well ... lessons learned...I've made SOME progress in some areas and lost it in others...I'll get there though I know it!

Life is good lately...what better time to tackle this again!

I hate hate hate hate hate Sunday nights....it's when everything gets boring and I stop and think again and again about how awesome the weekend was and how if it's just all in my head...and how I have to get through another week to experience that again and always wondering if that next weekend will truly ever come? But yet it always does and then come Sunday night the same thing happens...

This week only one slight disappointment...a promise was made to me for something to happen this afternoon and it didn't and I'm using that in my head to judge the entire weekend when in fact I know better and I know that it's not at all truly the case. But so my mind works...and my heart works the opposite. When my heart needs to have no say at all.

Well I'm off for my walk tonight just wanted to stop in and get that out...I might head to the park in a bit to do some writing...

My life has been so busy as of late. I haven't blogged in a long time. I'm loving my life though...I'm living as though I feel I should. Some changes have been happening and will continue to happen soon. I'm going to start looking for a second job really soon. Just trying to make it through the next few weeks first.

*My House - I need to do some work to it if I'm not going to rebuild as soon as we thought since that was a long time ago. I started working in the front trying to make a patio and I need to get back to it...however, it's been raining every night I'm home it seems...so I haven't had a chance to get it done. Maybe Friday morning I'll have some time I don't think I have to work. I just want a place where I can sit outside and watch the world go by! ha ha...

*My SUV - needs some work. Hopefully getting an alignment and tire rotation soon. I do need to save up some money for other things that will be coming up though I suppose. ICK...just getting gas into the damn thing is a challenge. I will also start making extra payments on it to get it down sooner so I can get something less expensive even though now the trade in on them will be junk...oh well lessons learned! Can't predict the economy.

*Photography - going back to school I'm hoping next month to start. It's a photography class through the Photography Institute of New York. It's a complete online diploma course. Not that expensive either. I really enjoy photography and I want to learn and develop my skill. Apparently it's in my blood. We shall see. There is something about pictures. The way they capture moments that people forget. The way they show things that you miss seeing the first time around.

*Love Life - yeah it's there for a change...slowly but surely making progress. I care about him a great deal so we'll see if I can keep my patience and nuroticness in check long enough for it to mean something.

*Friends - ugh it's a struggle ... let's just leave it at that. Who knew that keeping, growing and maintaining friendships would be so hard!

So I've had a long day already.

Then I get this.

Read before watching video.


A son asked his father, 'Dad, will you take part in a marathon with
me?' The father who, despite having a heart condition, says 'Yes'. They went
on to complete the marathon together.

Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying 'Yes' to his son's request of going through the race together. One day, the son asked his father, 'Dad, let's join the Ironman together.'

To which, his father said 'Yes' .

For those who didn't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer) ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180.2 kilometer) bike ride, and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island

Father and son went on to complete the race together. View this

Click http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8cf08faca5dd9ea45513

It brought tears to my eyes.