So Day 1 hasn't started off very good...
Update #1: 11:22am
I realized this morning that I need to get up a bit earlier or prepare before bed for this challenge...
I had a handful of M&Ms on my way out the door this morning - not a good way to start.
1/2 L of water so far which is what...16.9 fl oz? I'm really surprised I have any energy whatsoever at this point for my lack of a good hearty breakfast.
For lunch I plan on having a BLT but I only have white bread but I can't afford to not eat it so I will eat it and just try to limit my intake.
Tonight I also plan to work out a bit on my Wii and perhaps go for one of the Portland trail walks if the rain lets up a bit...
Monday, June 22, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Loan Schedule to Pay Back for Disney Trip
I know that I did this in reverse and I am starting to pay back when I'm going on my trip and after and not before...but well I did the best I could...Thankfully I have family that are there for me and help me out whenever they can! It's up to me to pay them back for everything now.Total Owed to my mom for Trip $930.40
Payoff Schedule:
$930.40 August 2008 (10%) $93.04 PAID
$837.36 September 2008 (20%) $167.47 PAID
$669.89 October 2008 (30%) $200.97 PAID (February 13, 2009)
$468.92 November 2008 (40%) $187.57
$281.35 December 2008 (50%) $140.68
$140.68 January 2008 (100%) $140.68 PAID OFF!!!!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Been Awhile....
The past month has been a true version of a roller coaster. Everything from realizing the true meaning of friendship, realizing that anything that needs to be done I can in fact do it, to realizing that the person I thought I was in love with was really a play on my emotions to use me for they needed and in fact I’m not sure they ever really had any true feelings for me at all. A lot of lessons I’m sure I’ve already learned before but yet alas I must learn them again and I’m sure I’ll still learn them another time. The human body and brain is just amazing…it’s really truly amazing what we can talk ourselves into and out of without even thinking twice, without any rational, and without any true thought to your own heart.
A few days after the breakup when I was still really struggling I found myself talking to a new friend. Someone who has become a great person in my life but has yet to learn my past history therefore I knew the judgment I was receiving was “pure” as to my life. The question I was asked was the following: “Is Your Relationship Really Worth Fighting For?” As I sat there and thought about it I could tell my answer wasn’t needed anymore because the silence that followed was my answer. It was my “Unanswered Prayer” – that silence bridged the gap between my heart and my head and made me realize that he wasn’t me. He wasn’t what I stood for and he wasn’t what I needed in my life to continue. He’s a great friend and I’m sure someday we will be back to that point but right now – I’m okay. I’m standing on my own feet and I’m getting sleep at night and I’m following the dreams that I’ve had since I was a child. I’m doing alone. I’m doing it alone so that I can prove to myself as well as be proud of my accomplishments. It takes two people to work on a problem and when one person doesn’t want to put the effort into saving it or working on it then it’s a lost cause and you just have to accept it and be okay with what it is for what it is. The truth is even if we stayed together or got back together things wouldn’t have been the same because the damage had already been done.
“You deserve to be happy, no one person has the power to make or take your happiness. Only you control your happiness.”
I spent a lot of time getting back to me. Remember who I was and what I stood for and that required sometime in the library, a place I love and lose track of time in but rarely spend time at. While I was there I picked up a book with an article “When Fear Runs Your Life”. The article dealt with Anxiety and Fear and I realized that even though they talked about specific examples…I had examples of my own so I made a list of my own fears to learn from and build from. Here is an excerpt from the article “Fear is real when there is real danger, but most fears are created from within. One may have had a nervous reaction to a certain stimulus, event or action, which creates the fear. Fears are created when you cannot let go of the past response and the thoughts surrounding them.” It’s a very true statement. I’ve constantly lived my life in fear. Fear of letting those close to me down, fear of letting myself down, fear of letting someone (anyone) that is dependent on me down. I’ve always thought that I wasn’t good enough and that I couldn’t do things that everyone else can…and as I thought there reading this article I realized how much that impacts my life in so many different ways. How you perceive yourself in society directly reflects how you perceive yourself at home and heart. My relationships are built on how I see myself looking in a mirror but not what is actually there. They are built on what I think they want from me and not on whom I really am. I’ve always felt a bit like silly putty….I just molds into whatever people need me to be. I never say my true feelings, I never get into arguments that mean anything and I don’t stand up for what in my heart I truly believe as to not go against what people are talking about. Another excerpt from the article: “Everyone on this Earth has the same opportunities as one another. There is not one person better than the other. There are differences in people and the choices they make, but more importantly, Attitudes are different. We are all equal. Even the most successful people have fear, but they did not let fear run their lives in a destructive way, they actually have accepted fears along the way and worked to prove them wrong. We all can do the same.” I have chosen to no longer let fear run my life. I’ve welcomed it and accepted it and have decided to use it to prove MYSELF wrong. Once I start doing that everything else will fall into place.
It’s an amazing feeling really to finally be able to breath and lift off that rock that’s been sitting on your chest you didn’t even know was there because you couldn’t see past it so you didn’t know what you were missing. It’s amazing to wake up and look outside and realize that it’s your home. It’s your life. It’s your destiny and you have the power to choose what you are going to do with it!
A few days after the breakup when I was still really struggling I found myself talking to a new friend. Someone who has become a great person in my life but has yet to learn my past history therefore I knew the judgment I was receiving was “pure” as to my life. The question I was asked was the following: “Is Your Relationship Really Worth Fighting For?” As I sat there and thought about it I could tell my answer wasn’t needed anymore because the silence that followed was my answer. It was my “Unanswered Prayer” – that silence bridged the gap between my heart and my head and made me realize that he wasn’t me. He wasn’t what I stood for and he wasn’t what I needed in my life to continue. He’s a great friend and I’m sure someday we will be back to that point but right now – I’m okay. I’m standing on my own feet and I’m getting sleep at night and I’m following the dreams that I’ve had since I was a child. I’m doing alone. I’m doing it alone so that I can prove to myself as well as be proud of my accomplishments. It takes two people to work on a problem and when one person doesn’t want to put the effort into saving it or working on it then it’s a lost cause and you just have to accept it and be okay with what it is for what it is. The truth is even if we stayed together or got back together things wouldn’t have been the same because the damage had already been done.
“You deserve to be happy, no one person has the power to make or take your happiness. Only you control your happiness.”
I spent a lot of time getting back to me. Remember who I was and what I stood for and that required sometime in the library, a place I love and lose track of time in but rarely spend time at. While I was there I picked up a book with an article “When Fear Runs Your Life”. The article dealt with Anxiety and Fear and I realized that even though they talked about specific examples…I had examples of my own so I made a list of my own fears to learn from and build from. Here is an excerpt from the article “Fear is real when there is real danger, but most fears are created from within. One may have had a nervous reaction to a certain stimulus, event or action, which creates the fear. Fears are created when you cannot let go of the past response and the thoughts surrounding them.” It’s a very true statement. I’ve constantly lived my life in fear. Fear of letting those close to me down, fear of letting myself down, fear of letting someone (anyone) that is dependent on me down. I’ve always thought that I wasn’t good enough and that I couldn’t do things that everyone else can…and as I thought there reading this article I realized how much that impacts my life in so many different ways. How you perceive yourself in society directly reflects how you perceive yourself at home and heart. My relationships are built on how I see myself looking in a mirror but not what is actually there. They are built on what I think they want from me and not on whom I really am. I’ve always felt a bit like silly putty….I just molds into whatever people need me to be. I never say my true feelings, I never get into arguments that mean anything and I don’t stand up for what in my heart I truly believe as to not go against what people are talking about. Another excerpt from the article: “Everyone on this Earth has the same opportunities as one another. There is not one person better than the other. There are differences in people and the choices they make, but more importantly, Attitudes are different. We are all equal. Even the most successful people have fear, but they did not let fear run their lives in a destructive way, they actually have accepted fears along the way and worked to prove them wrong. We all can do the same.” I have chosen to no longer let fear run my life. I’ve welcomed it and accepted it and have decided to use it to prove MYSELF wrong. Once I start doing that everything else will fall into place.
It’s an amazing feeling really to finally be able to breath and lift off that rock that’s been sitting on your chest you didn’t even know was there because you couldn’t see past it so you didn’t know what you were missing. It’s amazing to wake up and look outside and realize that it’s your home. It’s your life. It’s your destiny and you have the power to choose what you are going to do with it!
Friday, October 3, 2008
Payoff for dad
While I'm paying my mom back for my trip to Florida that I went on I need to go back to paying my dad back for the loan for my vehicle that I bought 3 years ago....yeah I'm a little behind...but I need to get back to it.
He loaned me $7115.00 to put down on my vehicle. So far since then I've only paid him back $260.00 ... PATHETIC ... responsibility I have none apparently.
I have agreed to pay a minimum of $20 a week for the time being...not much but I'm still hoping to get it back on track of at least something and going from there...everyone is talking about the economy and it crashing and living beyond our means and I've begun to see just how far BEYOND my means I really got...it's amazing how much that rug collects when you keep shoving the stuff you don't want to see under it.
So to date I owe him $6855.00
10/03/08 $20.00 $6835.00 PAID
10/10/08 $20.00 $6815.00
10/17/08 $20.00 $6795.00
10/24/08 $20.00 $6775.00
10/31/08 $20.00 $6755.00
At this rate....I'll have paid him back in 6 1/2 years from now LOL .... really need to try and make double payments
He loaned me $7115.00 to put down on my vehicle. So far since then I've only paid him back $260.00 ... PATHETIC ... responsibility I have none apparently.
I have agreed to pay a minimum of $20 a week for the time being...not much but I'm still hoping to get it back on track of at least something and going from there...everyone is talking about the economy and it crashing and living beyond our means and I've begun to see just how far BEYOND my means I really got...it's amazing how much that rug collects when you keep shoving the stuff you don't want to see under it.
So to date I owe him $6855.00
10/03/08 $20.00 $6835.00 PAID
10/10/08 $20.00 $6815.00
10/17/08 $20.00 $6795.00
10/24/08 $20.00 $6775.00
10/31/08 $20.00 $6755.00
At this rate....I'll have paid him back in 6 1/2 years from now LOL .... really need to try and make double payments
Good News/Bad News
So I finally paid off my agreement with CollectCorp out of Arizona for my US Dept of Education Loan. After 6 months of on time payments they have cleared my name from my credit and have redone my debt with the department of education once again supposedly making me elegible to receive US Education loans again if I so choose...
Bad news....I still owe a lot of money.
Principal Balance: $10565.07
Interest: $242.36
Fees (for the previous collectoins): $2630.52
Debt Total: $13437.95
My monthly payments are $125.17 a month...my total bill is 13437.95...so that divided by my month payment and I'll be all done paying it off in oh.....107/108 month (9 years or so) Gotta love an education...
At least the Fees will be paid off in 1-3/4 years and the interest paid off about 2 months after...so in about two years of paying my monthly fee I'll actually start paying on my true loan...man I wish I got all this when I was 18....
Now if I can double up my payment each month I'll be done paying it between 4 or 5 years...
Anyone want to share with me the powerball numbers? I'll share with you...I promise!
Bad news....I still owe a lot of money.
Principal Balance: $10565.07
Interest: $242.36
Fees (for the previous collectoins): $2630.52
Debt Total: $13437.95
My monthly payments are $125.17 a month...my total bill is 13437.95...so that divided by my month payment and I'll be all done paying it off in oh.....107/108 month (9 years or so) Gotta love an education...
At least the Fees will be paid off in 1-3/4 years and the interest paid off about 2 months after...so in about two years of paying my monthly fee I'll actually start paying on my true loan...man I wish I got all this when I was 18....
Now if I can double up my payment each month I'll be done paying it between 4 or 5 years...
Anyone want to share with me the powerball numbers? I'll share with you...I promise!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Loan Schedule to Pay Back for Disney Trip
I know that I did this in reverse and I am starting to pay back when I'm going on my trip and after and not before...but well I did the best I could...Thankfully I have family that are there for me and help me out whenever they can! It's up to me to pay them back for everything now.
Total Owed to my mom for Trip $930.40
Payoff Schedule:
$930.40 August 2008 (10%) $93.04 PAID
$837.36 September 2008 (20%) $167.47 PAID
$669.89 October 2008 (30%) $200.97
$468.92 November 2008 (40%) $187.57
$281.35 December 2008 (50%) $140.68
$140.68 January 2008 (100%) PAID OFF!!!!
Total Owed to my mom for Trip $930.40
Payoff Schedule:
$930.40 August 2008 (10%) $93.04 PAID
$837.36 September 2008 (20%) $167.47 PAID
$669.89 October 2008 (30%) $200.97
$468.92 November 2008 (40%) $187.57
$281.35 December 2008 (50%) $140.68
$140.68 January 2008 (100%) PAID OFF!!!!
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